Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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