We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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