if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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