Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
