Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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