were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize