I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I intend to get homeless drunk
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
