Just fell off a train. Bad.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
