Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize