dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
