we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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