found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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