Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Randomize
