I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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