we're blogging at a bar
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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