I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
so that wasnt chicken after all
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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