last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
