i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
