Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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