I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
