Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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