How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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