did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
