I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
