I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
The adults are the big ones right?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize