Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
