OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize