Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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