You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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