you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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