First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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