he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
