i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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