can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
