yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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