I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
