We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
