ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
