I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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