Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
