Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
