It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
BRING THE BAGELS
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
