she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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