That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
