Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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