I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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