How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
