got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
