Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
