I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
a search helicopter?!
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
