Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
