i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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