WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
