You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
