i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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