A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
