I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
