My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
