your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
