this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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