just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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