I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
