Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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