You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
