Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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