So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
