So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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