Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
