I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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