I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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