I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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