did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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