Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
