Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
literally had 100 drinks last night.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
