she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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